what my 5'4" frame tells me...

...it tells me i am short.
...it tells me i am nothing like a gazelle.
...it says, "what the heck are you doing??!"
...it tells me it hurts.
...it tells me it's not built for this...

running.

what i say back is...
...so what
...maybe i am a bumblebee. no one has to know.
... i am getting healthy and fit.
...let's work through this together.
...it's me vs. me. only i have the power to say when it's time to stop.

today i went on a trail run. it was cooler, pleasant, nice.
i fully went out knowing i would do more than my usual 3.5-4 miles.
at first i thought lofty...6!  6.5! maybe even 7! if i was feeling the groove.
somewhere around mile 4 my body started talking to me.
it wanted to stop.
i knew i couldn't. physically or mentally.
physically because i had a route to finish--running all of it.
mentally because i wasn't going to feel defeated.
i wanted to leave it all on the trail.
most of all. NO WALKING!!!
so i bargained..." i need to finish at least 5 miles! "
so miles 4 and 5, i began hearing the cheers and chants of 2 of my virtual
running pals, along with myself.
"GO, JEN, GO!!!" "BE IN THE MOMENT AND ENJOY THIS...DON'T WORRY"
it worked.
i finished. felt great.

i also learned that i should have listened (or at least been more smart about my mileage) b/c now i am
nursing a calf strain.
living and learning... pain i should listen to. aching is worth pushing through.
so a few days off from running to weight train, get back into zumba and keep doing my push-ups.
oh, and these shoes right here:

no longer using them for running. every time= sore ankles and/or calves. bleh.
instead, sticking with my faithful Mizunos.

loving this

i love this for so many reasons, but mostly b/c it's just me and you holding hands. :)

life. right now.| summer 2011

i've known for a while i'm not the greatest blogger.
obviously.
partially b/c i am not scrapping and taking pictures like i used to do, and
partially b/c i have never had a great following, even at the "height" of doing said things.
i realize that this blog is basically for me. yes.
although, i do have the desire to share parts of my life, my creations, pictures, the
stuff i make with others.
lately, i have come to the conclusion that i am going to make my blog private over the summer.
to see where i am headed.
to journal just for me.
to not feel any pressure, so to speak. to not care about any type of response or feedback.
let's be honest...as bloggers, we LOVE feedback on our blogs!

this will be my last share.

it's just where i am in life. now.
not sure. searching. wanting to find....clarity.... peace.... calm.... in my life.
my hope is to be creative over the summer.
take pictures for my enjoyment.
scrap because every page touches my heart and soul.

have a wonderful, blessed summer!
xo,
jen